Honest Women Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison

Our listeners asked:
I always wanted to be a Stay at Home Mom, but now that I'm doing it, I hate it...
The only thing I want for Mother's Day is a break from my husband and kids...
Am I a bad mom??
Join Andrea and Jess for HOT TAKE THURSDAY, where we answer listener questions in a completely unedited and unfiltered way. We may not be right, but we have an opinion!
Want a deeper dive conversation on the topic of feeling like a Bad Mom? We've got you covered::

56. Good Enough is the New Perfect: Why Being a "Bad Mom" Doesn't Make You a Failure (May 7, 2024)



You might also like:

2. Your Hard is Hard! Dealing with the Responsibility and Stress of Life (May 3, 2023) - one of our OG episodes!

4. What Honest Women REALLY Want for Mother's Day (May 10, 2023)


WE WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU!!
Whether you want your own question answered on Hot Take Thursday, want to discuss the latest Honest Women episode, or just want a place where you can be real with other people and talk about life honestly... the best place to do that is our BRAND NEW FACEBOOK GROUP! 
Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/honestwomenpodcastcommunity
And if you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, and you don't have facebook, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast on IG: @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica on IG: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea on IG: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You might make a self-deprecating joke about riding the hot mess express, or saving for your kids’ future therapy, but the truth is? Behind the closed doors of the therapy room, so many women share that they fear they are a "bad mom," and there’s nothing funny about it.
Listen as we get honest about :

the fact that nearly every mom sometimes feels like a "bad mom" and fears that she is failing at motherhood.

how apps like BabyCenter, and internet mom groups, created a generation of "responsibilized" moms

how parenting information has separated moms from their intuition

the unrealistic, unconscious expectations that many of us have for ourselves or our children

how early motherhood experiences, including postpartum depression and anxiety, can contribute to the feeling of being a "bad mom"

Winnicott's "Good Enough Mother" (aka the one time psychology DIDN'T blame moms for absolutely everything)

why it is important to challenge the idea of being a bad mom and practice self-compassion. This is SO MUCH EASIER to do in community, so we'll be continuing the conversation in the facebook group, and we'd love you to meet us there!


Plus, Andrea sings the praises of a beloved pre-k teacher; Jessica reacts - strongly - to the idea of the "good enough" mother; and Andrea and Jessica discover that they were both bloggers in the early internet days (who knew?).
As we head towards Mother's Day, we want YOU, our beloved listener who is also a mother, to know this:
You are exactly the mom that your children need. So make all of the "bad mom" jokes that you want, but remember - you are more than good enough, just the way you are. Happy Mother's Day!
Like this episode? Check these out:


44. Isn't this Supposed to be Fun? (February 27, 2024) - in case you don't enjoy the daily grind of motherhood, and that makes you feel like a bad mom (spoiler alert - you're not!)


37. Exploring Mommy Wine Culture During Dry January (January 9, 2024) - talk about societal pressures! Also, I think we should all take a moment to reflect on the fact that 20% of women in the US in the 1950s were being prescribed valium up to 4x a DAY to deal with their daily difficulties, so... you're probably doing fine.


22. So You Lost Your Shit... (September 20, 2023) - in case losing your shit makes you feel like you're a bad mom... at least you're in good company! This is never not going to be one of our favorite episodes.


WE WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU!!
Whether you want your own question answered on Hot Take Thursday, want to discuss the latest Honest Women episode, or just want a place where you can be real with other people and talk about life honestly... the best place to do that is our BRAND NEW FACEBOOK GROUP! 
Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/honestwomenpodcastcommunity
And if you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, and you don't have facebook, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit

"I'm in a situation where my husband basically is dismissive or rejecting to me every time that I try to start a conversation with him, or I try to come close to him. But then, when he tries to come close to me, he gets really offended that I'm not engaged with him. I'm instantly getting my bids rejected or dismissed, but then my partner expects me to be responsive to him. What the heck am I supposed to do?"
Join Andrea and Jess for HOT TAKE THURSDAY, where we answer this listener's question in a completely unedited and unfiltered way. We may not be right, but we have an opinion!

WE WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU!!
Whether you want your own question answered on Hot Take Thursday, want to discuss the latest Honest Women episode, or just want a place where you can be real with other people and talk about life honestly... the best place to do that is our BRAND NEW FACEBOOK GROUP! 
Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/honestwomenpodcastcommunity
And if you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, and you don't have facebook, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast on IG: @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica on IG: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea on IG: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What if we told you there is one thing you could start doing today, that could divorce proof your marriage? Does it sound too good to be true? Today we have honest conversation about our attempts to connect with our partner and how one small move can increase or decrease the likelihood of divorce.
Listen to hear more about:

Bids for connection are important in maintaining a healthy relationship

Responding to bids by turning towards each other increases the likelihood of a successful relationship

Ignoring or rejecting bids can lead to relationship dissatisfaction and potential divorce

Couples should make an effort to be aware of and respond positively to each other's bids for connection. Bids for connection in relationships can be indirect and easily missed or misinterpreted.

Bids change throughout a marriage, particularly after having children.

Recognizing and valuing bids for connection is crucial for maintaining a strong relationship.

Challenging the stories we tell ourselves about our partner's bids can lead to better understanding and connection.

Being more direct in our communication can help ensure that bids are received and responded to.

Making nonverbal bids, such as affectionate touch, can also contribute to a positive relationship dynamic.


Soundbites from your favorite Honest Women:

"Bids for connection are any attempt from one partner to another for attention, affirmation, affection, or any positive connection."

"There are three ways to respond to a bid: turning towards, turning away, or turning against."

"Couples that stayed married turned towards each other 86% of the time, while couples that divorced averaged only 33% of the time."

"I embraced it so much more because I now looked at some of the silly things that my husband will do as a bid for connection."

"There was less time invested in it. It was less risky at that point, meaning there probably wasn't a long history of feeling rejected."

"A lot of his bids are the same as they've always been. But I respond to him a lot differently."


Like this episode? Try these!
Transform your Marriage Today: 10 Tips to Transform your Marriage
Three Universal Reasons Why Being Married is Hard
Redefining Happily Ever After
Connect with Us:
WE WANT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!! If you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast on IG: @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica on IG: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea on IG: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My fiance and I are getting married in a few months, and we've figured out pretty much everything, except for this: he thinks we should keep our money separated, but I think we should combine it...
What should we do?
Join Andrea and Jess for the first ever HOT TAKE THURSDAY, where we answer listener questions in a completely unedited and unfiltered way. We may not be right, but we have an opinion!
Want a deeper dive conversation on the topic of money and marriage? We've got you covered with not one, but TWO episodes:


51. START HERE if you Want to Talk About Money in Marriage (Without Fighting!) (April 16, 2024)


52. Beyond the Budget - The Secret to Having Better Money Conversations With Your Spouse (April 23, 2024)


WE WANT TO CONNECT WITH YOU!!
Whether you want your own question answered on Hot Take Thursday, want to discuss the latest Honest Women episode, or just want a place where you can be real with other people and talk about life honestly... the best place to do that is our BRAND NEW FACEBOOK GROUP!
Join here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/honestwomenpodcastcommunity
And if you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, and you don't have facebook, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast on IG: @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica on IG: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea on IG: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For the first time EVER in Honest Women History, we have a topic SO juicy and SO loaded we had to break it into two episodes! This is the second of two episodes all about how to handle money better in your marriage, so go back to last week's episode if you haven't heard it yet (we'll wait!).
Today we get honest about:

The four money scripts: money avoidance, money worship, money status, and money vigilance.

The importance of understanding and aligning spending behaviors with personal values.

Financial infidelity.

How differences in spending habits can lead to misunderstandings and resentment between partners.

How open and regular communication about finances is crucial for a healthy relationship.

How understanding each other's upbringing and attitudes towards money can help create empathy and connection.

How addressing fears and defining financial security can lead to a better understanding of each other's financial goals and priorities.

How having a budget and reviewing it regularly can help couples stay on top of their finances and avoid unnecessary stress.


Plus, Andrea and Jessica are WAY more chill about the money topic than last week (see??? Having an honest conversation does wonders for money stress!); Andrea makes a big announcement; and Jess makes a VERY ambiguous sound effect. Did somebody say motor boating??
Like this episode? Check out these:


49. This One Skill Can Make or Break Your Relationships (April 2, 2024) - in which we discuss how to really apologize... just in case.



24. How to be a Better Communicator (October 4, 2023) - because learning to communicate better can only serve you well when you have to talk about tricky topics like money.


Connect with Us:
WE WANT TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS!! If you have a real-world scenario you want us to discuss, a bug in your bonnet about something going on in the world, or just want to say hello, please email us: hello@honestwomenpodcast.com
Follow Honest Women Podcast on IG: @honestwomenpodcast
Follow Jessica on IG: @jlhutchisonlcpc
Follow Andrea on IG: @andreaburkly
Learn more about the Honest Women Podcast: www.honestwomenpodcast.com
Honest Women is the podcast for every woman juggling the demands of modern life (while trying to keep her shit together) and finding that it’s all just a little more difficult than she thought it would be. Your hosts, Andrea Burkly and Jessica Hutchison, are two very real mental health professionals who are taking honest conversations from inside their offices to the outside world.
Disclaimer:
Please note while this podcast features two therapists, and may feel very therapeutic, this is not therapy! Please be entertained, and know that through our creative content, we are not providing mental health care. No diagnosis. No treatment. No medical advice. Just creative content. Please seek appropriate mental health support in the real world.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices