mindblown psychology

Lee Hopkins
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mindblown psychology

Discover a better you with my new psychology and counselling podcast Are you ready to unlock the secrets to a more fulfilling life? As a trained psychologist and counsellor, I’m thrilled to introduce my new weekly podcast—a space where we dive deep into the fascinating world of psychology, relationships, and personal growth. Life can be complex, and navigating its challenges often feels overwhelming. That’s why this podcast is here—to offer practical insights, evidence-based strategies, and meaningful conversations that empower you to live with greater clarity and purpose. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, understand yourself on a deeper level, or gain tools to support your mental health, this podcast is your companion on the journey. Each episode explores topics that matter most—how to communicate effectively with loved ones, manage stress and anxiety, build resilience, and foster self-compassion. With warmth and professionalism, I’ll break down psychological concepts into relatable ideas that you can apply in your everyday life. You’ll also hear inspiring stories from real people who’ve transformed their lives through self-awareness and growth. This podcast isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about meaningful change. It’s about equipping you with the knowledge and tools to create stronger connections with yourself and others. Whether you’re tuning in during your morning walk or winding down at the end of the day, these episodes are designed to leave you feeling inspired, informed, and empowered. Join me each week as we explore what it means to live a better life—one filled with understanding, connection, and growth. Subscribe today wherever you get your podcasts, and take the first step towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Episodes

  1. MAR 6

    06 - Self-esteem

    In this episode, we'll explore the fascinating world of self-esteem, and we'll look at why it matters for our mental health and relationships.   Most importantly, I'll share practical strategies to help you find your own self-esteem sweet spot, no matter where in the world you're listening from.   [Intro music]   G'day, I'm Lee Hopkins, a counselling psychologist, and you're listening to the mindblown psychology podcast, where we tackle the tough mental health challenges that keep you up at night.   Whether you're listening from a high-rise apartment in Ho Chi Minh City, a suburban home in Melbourne, or anywhere else in our wonderfully diverse world, self-esteem affects us all. It's a universal human experience that crosses all cultural boundaries.   Picture this: You're at a gathering with friends or family. Someone's just complimented your cooking. How do you respond? Do you brush it off with a quick dismissal? Or do you launch into a detailed explanation of your expertise, complete with your grand plans to open a restaurant?   Your response tells us something fascinating about your self-esteem. And here's the kicker---neither reaction might be ideal.   Let me share something that might surprise you. Having too much self-esteem can be just as problematic as having too little. It's like trying to find the perfect Goldilocks balance---not too hot, not too cold, but just right.   I see this play out every day in my practice, both in Australia and with my clients in Vietnam. Take James, a brilliant software engineer. Despite his impressive skills, he constantly downplays his achievements. He's got impostor syndrome written all over him.   Then there's Linh, a marketing executive in Ho Chi Minh City who's so confident in her abilities that she can't understand why her team seems to resist her leadership. She's got what we call excessive self-esteem.   Both James and Linh are struggling, just at opposite ends of the spectrum.   Now, here's something most people don't realise about self-esteem. It's not a fixed trait, like your height. It's more like your fitness level---it can be developed, maintained, or even dialled back if needed.   Let's dive into what healthy self-esteem actually looks like. Think of it like a well-balanced meal---satisfying without being excessive.   Someone with healthy self-esteem can: Accept both praise and criticism with grace Take reasonable risks without being reckless Acknowledge their mistakes without beating themselves up Celebrate their successes without diminishing others   But here's where it gets interesting. Research shows that about 85% of people worldwide struggle with self-esteem issues at some point in their lives. That's a remarkably consistent statistic across cultures.   Let me share three practical strategies to help you find your self-esteem sweet spot.   First, we have the Reality Check technique. When you catch yourself thinking either 'I'm hopeless' or 'I'm brilliant', pause. Ask yourself: 'What would someone who cares about me say about this situation?' This gives you a more balanced perspective.   Second, practice what I call the 'Honest Feedback' approach. Keep a journal for a week. Write down both your successes and your struggles. Be honest with yourself---as honest as you'd be with your closest friend.   Third, use the Growth Mindset method. Instead of saying 'I can't' or 'I'm the best', try 'I'm learning' or 'I'm improving'. This keeps you humble while acknowledging your progress.   Now, here's something that might challenge your thinking. Many people believe self-esteem comes from achievement. But there's more to it than that. Much more.   Healthy self-esteem actually comes from a combination of: Realistic self-awareness Genuine self-acceptance Balanced self-improvement efforts   Let me share a story about Minh, a small business owner in District 1 of Ho Chi Minh City. He Zoomed me because he felt he wasn't 'good enough' compared to his university-educated friends. Through our work together, he discovered something powerful---his practical business sense and people skills were just as valuable as any degree.   Minh's journey taught me something important. Sometimes, the path to healthy self-esteem isn't about changing who you are---it's about changing how you see who you are.   Now, let me share some practical exercises you can start using today. These work regardless of your cultural background or where you live.   Exercise One: The Morning Mirror Practice Each morning, look in the mirror and name three things you appreciate about yourself. One about your appearance, one about your character, and one about your abilities. For example: 'I have kind eyes, I'm reliable, and I'm good at solving problems.'   Do this for two weeks straight. It might feel uncomfortable at first. But stick with it. The discomfort is part of the growth.   Exercise Two: The Balanced Achievement Journal Get yourself a notebook or open a notes app on your phone. Each evening, write down: One thing you did well today One thing you could improve One thing you learned   The key here is balance. We're not looking for perfection or beating ourselves up. We're aiming for honest reflection.   Exercise Three: The Feedback Framework This one's particularly powerful. When someone gives you feedback---positive or negative---try this three-step process:   First, take a deep breath. Give yourself that moment to centre yourself.   Second, say 'thank you for sharing that with me.' This acknowledgment creates space between the feedback and your reaction.   Third, ask yourself: 'What can I learn from this?' Notice I didn't say 'Is this true or false?' That's too simplistic. Instead, we're looking for the learning opportunity.       Here's something that might surprise you: Sometimes, what looks like low self-esteem is actually perfectionism in disguise. And what appears to be high self-esteem might be a cover for deep insecurity.   Think about that for a moment. It's like judging a book by its cover---we often miss the deeper story.   So how do you know if your self-esteem needs adjusting? Here are three questions to ask yourself: Can you accept compliments without deflecting or elaborating? Do you make decisions based on what you want, rather than what others expect? Can you admit mistakes without feeling like a complete failure?   If you answered 'no' to any of these, don't worry. Remember, self-esteem is like a muscle---it can be strengthened with the right exercises.   Practice all these exercises for a month. Keep track of your progress. Notice how your reactions to praise and criticism start to shift. It's like watching a garden grow---the changes are subtle at first, but they add up to something beautiful.   Remember, developing healthy self-esteem is like training for any significant achievement. You wouldn't expect to master a skill overnight. Start small, be consistent, and celebrate your progress along the way.   [Incidental music] I'm Lee Hopkins, reminding you that your experiences are valid, even when others don't understand them.   If this episode triggers any thoughts, please leave a comment on the podcast's page, or drop me a line: lee@mindblownpsychology.com. And if you found this podcast helpful, please leave a review on the podcast page.   You can listen to this podcast on the Apple Podcast platform. I don't publish on Spotify for ethical reasons.   Until next time, take care of your mind---it's the only one you've got.

    10 min

  2. FEB 19

    05 - Attachment and relationships

    In this episode, we'll explore how our early life experiences shape our adult relationships. We'll dive into the fascinating neuroscience behind emotional bonds. Most importantly, I'll share practical strategies you can use to create healthier relationships in your own life.   G'day, I'm Lee Hopkins, a counselling psychologist, and you're listening to the mindblown psychology podcast, where we tackle the tough mental health challenges that keep you up at night.   [Music transitions to soft background]   Do you ever lie awake at night replaying conversations you've had with your partner? Wondering why you reacted so strongly to something small?   Or maybe you've noticed a pattern. The same relationship problems keep showing up. Different people, same story. Despite your best efforts to choose differently.   Let me tell you something important: you're not alone. Every week at my clinic, I meet people just like you. They're all struggling with these same issues. Here's the good news—psychology understands the science behind these patterns. Even better? We know exactly how to change them.   But first, let's talk about why these patterns exist.   I want to share three stories with you. Each one shows a different side of attachment challenges.   First, there's Sarah. She gets incredibly anxious if her partner doesn't reply to texts within an hour.   Then there's Mike. He takes pride in being completely self-sufficient. He rarely lets anyone get emotionally close.   And finally, Jennifer. She swings between two extremes. Sometimes she desperately wants closeness. Other times she pushes people away the moment they get too close.   Now, these behaviours might seem completely different. But they all stem from the same root: attachment insecurity.   Let's look at the fascinating science behind this. Understanding what's happening in your brain is the first step to making changes.   Your brain creates neural pathways during childhood. These pathways form based on your experiences with caregivers. Scientists call this your 'internal working model' of relationships. Think of it like your computer's operating system. It runs in the background, and it influences how you process relationship information. Most of the time, you don't even realize it's there.   Let's look at some fascinating research from the University of Melbourne's Psychology Department. They've discovered something important about attachment patterns. These patterns activate specific regions in our brain. The main players here are the amygdala and anterior cingulate cortex.   Think of these areas like an overactive smoke alarm. When we're triggered in relationships, they can completely hijack our rational thinking. Just like a smoke alarm that blares at the slightest hint of burning toast.   But here's the exciting part. We can actually rewire these neural pathways. The science proves it. With consistent practice of new behaviours, we can create lasting change.   Now, let's break down the four main attachment styles. Understanding where you fit is crucial for making changes.   Let's start with secure attachment. These folks learned early on that people in their lives were reliable. They've developed a beautiful balance. They're comfortable with both emotional intimacy and independence.   Think of them like our mighty eucalyptus trees in the bush. These trees have deep, strong roots. But they're also flexible enough to bend with the wind. In relationships, these people have some amazing skills. They can express their needs clearly. They know how to set healthy boundaries. And when conflicts arise? They can work through them without losing their sense of self.   Next, we have anxious attachment. This is where Sarah fits in. These folks are hypervigilant about relationships. They often feel like they're not quite good enough.   They're like those sensitive native orchids you see in the rainforest. They need constant attention and they need perfect conditions to thrive. In relationships, they seek frequent reassurance. They might read negative meanings into neutral events. Sometimes they use protest behaviours - like excessive texting or emotional withdrawal - to get attention.   Then there's avoidant attachment. This is Mike's style. These individuals learned to rely mainly on themselves. They keep others at arm's length emotionally.   They're like those hardy desert plants that survive with minimal water. They've adapted to thrive with minimal emotional input. They might seem super independent, but often they're missing out on the deep connection they secretly crave.   Finally, we have disorganized attachment. This is Jennifer's style. It combines anxiety and avoidance. It often results from more complex early experiences.   These folks are like weather vanes in a storm. They spin between different responses. They struggle to find steady ground. They might intensely desire closeness. But at the same time, they feel terrified of it.   Now, here's something crucial. I want you to really hear this: Your attachment style is not your destiny.   Thanks to neuroplasticity, our brains can form new pathways throughout our lives. This isn't just feel-good psychology. It's backed by hard science. Studies from the University of Sydney show significant changes in attachment patterns. These changes can happen within just six months of targeted intervention.   Let me share ten practical strategies you can start using today. For each one, I'll give you specific examples of how to apply it.   Strategy One: The STOP Technique This is your first line of defence when you feel triggered. S stands for Stop what you're doing T means Take a step back O is for Observe your thoughts and feelings P reminds you to Proceed mindfully   Let me show you how this works in real life. Take Tom, one of my clients. He used to send angry texts whenever his partner was late. Using STOP changed everything. He learned to pause. He learned to observe his reaction. He discovered something important: His anger wasn't really about his partner's lateness, it was about childhood experiences of feeling unimportant. This awareness helped him respond more appropriately.   Strategy Two: The 90-Second Rule Here's a fascinating fact about your body's stress response. That initial surge of stress chemicals? It only lasts about 90 seconds.   I want you to try this. When you feel triggered, count slowly to 90. Focus on your breathing while you count. This gives your rational brain - your prefrontal cortex - time to come back online.   Sarah used this technique brilliantly. She applied it whenever she felt the urge to check her partner's social media. By the time she reached 90, that compulsive urge had usually decreased. This gave her space to make a conscious choice about her behaviour.   Strategy Three: The Empty Chair Technique This might sound a bit strange at first. But it's incredibly powerful. Here's what you do: Set up an empty chair in front of you. Practice expressing your needs to it.   Start with this simple formula: "I feel... when... and I need..."   Let me give you an example. You might say: "I feel anxious when you don't respond to my messages. And I need some reassurance about what that means."   Mike found this technique particularly helpful. He'd never learned to express emotional needs. But practicing with an empty chair? That gave him the confidence to be vulnerable with real people.   Strategy Four: The Relationship Costs and Benefits Analysis Think of this like doing a health check-up for your relationship patterns. Get yourself a journal. Create two columns.   In one column, write down what your current attachment patterns cost you. In the other, write what they protect you from. Include both immediate and long-term consequences. Think about emotional costs. Think about practical costs.   Jennifer tried this exercise. Her analysis revealed something important. Yes, her push-pull pattern protected her from potential rejection. But it was costing her the deep, stable relationships she craved. This clarity gave her the motivation to change.   Strategy Five: Gradual Exposure Technique This is just like building muscle at the gym. You don't start with the heaviest weights. You build up gradually.   If you're avoidant, start with tiny acts of vulnerability. If you're anxious, begin with small steps toward independence.   Let me share how this worked in real life. Sarah started small. She extended her 'text response expectation time' by just 15 minutes. Then she gradually increased it over weeks. Mike took a different approach. He began by sharing one small emotion each day with his partner.   Strategy Six: The Relationship Time Machine Here's an exercise that might surprise you. Write letters to your younger self about relationships.   Don't worry - you won't actually send these letters. They're for you. They help you spot patterns. More importantly, they help you develop self-compassion. And research shows that self-compassion is crucial for changing attachment styles.   Strategy Seven: The Trigger Tracker This is like becoming a detective in your own life. For two weeks, keep a detailed log of your relationship triggers.   Write down four things each time: What happened? What did you think? What did you feel? What sensations did you notice in your body?   This creates a map of your attachment patterns in action. It's like having a GPS for your emotional responses.   Strategy Eight: The Security Anchoring Technique Think back to moments when you felt secure in relationships. These moments might be brief. They might be rare. But they exist.   Create a detailed memory of these experiences. What did you see? What did you hear? What did you feel? Practice revisiting these memories when you feel triggered. They can become your emotio

    16 min

  3. FEB 5

    04 - PTSD and some management tools

    When your psychiatrist dismisses your PTSD concerns: A complete guide to understanding, documenting, and treating trauma   G'day, I'm Lee Hopkins, a counselling psychologist, and you're listening to the mindblown psychology podcast, where we tackle the tough mental health challenges that keep you up at night.   [Intro music fades out]   Today, we're diving into a situation that's more common than you might think—when you're convinced you have PTSD, but your psychiatrist has shown you the door. Like my client Sarah who spent months gathering the courage to seek help, only to be told she was 'just stressed.'   Let's start with something most people don't consider: PTSD isn't just about the big, obvious traumas. Sometimes, it's the accumulation of smaller traumas—what we call complex PTSD—that can be harder for professionals to spot. Like Chinese water torture, each drop might seem insignificant, but together they create profound damage.   Now, here's something controversial: Some mental health professionals still believe that PTSD only affects military personnel or emergency services workers. This myth persists despite overwhelming evidence that PTSD can affect anyone who's experienced trauma. The brain doesn't discriminate between types of trauma—it's all about how our nervous system processes the experience.   [Section transition sound]   Let's talk about how to document your experiences in a way that healthcare professionals can't ignore. I've developed two powerful tools while working with trauma survivors —the 'Evidence Journal' and the 'TIDE' method.   Your Evidence Journal isn't your standard diary—it's your personal medical record. Instead of writing 'Had a panic attack at work,' write: '10:15 AM, Board room meeting. Fluorescent lights flickering. Heart started racing, palms sweaty, had to excuse myself. Took 45 minutes to calm down in car park. Missed important presentation.'   The TIDE method—Trigger, Intensity, Duration, and Effect—helps quantify your experiences. For example: Trigger: Male voice raised to 70% volume Intensity: Chest tightening (8/10), nausea (6/10) Duration: Onset under 3 seconds, peak for 10 minutes Effect: Unable to continue meeting, needed 45 minutes to recover   Here's a trick I came up with a little while back: Create a spreadsheet tracking symptoms on a 1-10 scale, including seemingly unrelated factors like weather conditions and social interactions. Sometimes patterns emerge that even seasoned professionals might miss.   Document the ripple effects in what I call a 'Timeline of Impact.' Like my client from Victor Harbor, who discovered her symptoms dramatically increased around the anniversary of her accident, even though she consciously felt 'fine' during that period.   [Section transition sound]   Now, let's talk about coping mechanisms—because while you're building your case for professional help, you need tools for the here and now. I learned this powerful '5-4-3-2-1' grounding technique from a paramedic. When you're triggered: Name 5 things you can see 4 things you can touch 3 things you can hear 2 things you can smell 1 thing you can taste   Another client taught me her 'zone defence' strategy. She mapped her triggers into zones: Red zone: Immediate threat response needed Yellow zone: Approaching trigger, preventive actions required Green zone: Safe spaces and activities   An uncommon approach that's worked for many of my clients is seeking out a trauma-informed physiotherapist. Like my Airforce mate Glen from Perth who discovered his chronic neck pain was directly linked to his undiagnosed PTSD. The body keeps the score, as Bessel Vand der Kolk famously wrote, and physical symptoms can validate your emotional experience.   [Section transition sound]   Let's dive into treatment options, specifically EMDR versus trauma-focused CBT. Both are evidence-based treatments, but they work differently.   EMDR—Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing—might sound like alternative therapy, but it's backed by solid research. Think of it like defragging an old computer. When trauma happens, your brain sometimes stores the memory incorrectly, leaving it 'active' instead of processed. EMDR helps your brain reprocess these memories.   During EMDR, you'll focus on the traumatic memory while following bilateral stimulation—usually eye movements, but sometimes taps or sounds. A client described it perfectly: "It's like watching a movie of your trauma from behind bulletproof glass. You can see it, but it can't hurt you anymore."   Trauma-focused CBT, on the other hand, is like being a detective in your own mind. You'll learn to: Identify thought patterns Challenge unhelpful beliefs Develop new coping strategies Gradually face trauma-related fears   The key difference? CBT requires you to talk through and analyse your trauma, while EMDR can work without extensive verbal processing. Take Maya. She tried CBT first but found talking about her trauma overwhelming. EMDR helped her process the raw emotional content, then she returned to CBT to develop long-term management strategies.   Both treatments typically take 8-12 sessions, though complex trauma might require longer. The success rates are similar—about 70% of people show significant improvement. However, EMDR often shows faster initial results, while CBT provides more long-term management tools.   [Section transition sound]   So, what are your practical next steps?   Request a referral to a different psychiatrist, specifically one who specialises in trauma. GP mental health care plans can give you access to up to 10 subsidised sessions.   Consider seeing a clinical psychologist who can provide detailed assessments and documentation of your symptoms.   Join peer support groups—the lived experience of others can help validate your experiences and provide valuable resources.   Seek advocacy support through organisations like SANE Australia or your local mental health advocacy service.   Remember, seeking help isn't about proving you're unwell—it's about finding the support you need to heal and thrive.   [Outro music fades in]   This is Lee Hopkins, reminding you that your experiences are valid, even when others don't understand them.   If this episode triggers any thoughts, please leave a comment on the podcast's page, or drop me a line: lee@mindblownpsychology.com. And if you found this podcast helpful, please leave a review on the podcast page.   You can listen to this podcast on the Apple Podcast platform. I don't publish on Spotify for ethical reasons.   Until next time, take care of your mind—it's the only one you've got.

    9 min

  4. FEB 1

    03 - Managing employee retention in the age of AI

    Welcome to the mindblown psychology podcast. I'm Lee Hopkins, and today I want to talk about navigating employee churn in the age of artificial intelligence, and provide you with a comprehensive strategy to retain the ones you want to retain.   In an era of unprecedented technological transformation, organisations are facing a critical challenge: retaining talent while embracing artificial intelligence. The landscape of work is shifting dramatically, and employees are navigating unprecedented uncertainty. Understanding and addressing their needs becomes paramount to maintaining a stable, motivated workforce.   The integration of artificial intelligence into workplace ecosystems is not just a technological shift—it's a profound human experience. Employees are simultaneously excited and anxious about technological advancements that could fundamentally alter their professional trajectories. This psychological tension creates a delicate environment where retention strategies must be nuanced, empathetic, and forward-thinking.     One of the most powerful tools in modern employee retention is AI-powered predictive analytics. Imagine having a sophisticated early warning system that can identify potential flight risks before they become critical. By analysing complex datasets—including performance metrics, engagement surveys, and subtle sentiment indicators—organisations can now anticipate employee dissatisfaction with remarkable precision.   These predictive models go beyond traditional HR metrics. They can detect nuanced patterns like decreased collaboration, reduced communication frequency, or subtle changes in project engagement that might signal an employee's growing disengagement. This allows leadership to intervene proactively, addressing concerns before they escalate to resignation.   Gone are the days of one-size-fits-all career development. AI enables hyper-personalised professional growth pathways that align individual strengths with organisational needs. By leveraging machine learning algorithms, companies can create dynamic career maps that adapt in real-time to an employee's evolving skills, interests, and organisational requirements.   Consider an employee in marketing whose AI-enhanced profile reveals a latent talent for data analysis. Instead of remaining in a potentially static role, the organisation can proactively offer targeted training, mentorship, and lateral movement opportunities that keep the individual challenged and engaged.     Employee retention in the AI age requires a holistic approach to well-being. Mental health support is no longer a luxury—it's a strategic imperative. AI-powered mental health platforms can provide immediate, confidential support, offering resources tailored to individual stress profiles and communication preferences.   Flexible work arrangements have similarly transformed from a perk to an expectation. Hybrid models that blend remote and in-office experiences, powered by sophisticated collaboration technologies, demonstrate an organisation's commitment to employee autonomy and work-life integration.     Traditional annual performance reviews are becoming obsolete. AI enables continuous, granular recognition that validates employee contributions instantaneously. Imagine a system that not only tracks project milestones but understands and communicates the nuanced value of individual and team achievements.   These real-time recognition mechanisms serve a deeper psychological need—they make employees feel genuinely seen and valued, transcending transactional employment relationships.     Successfully reducing employee churn isn't about replacing humans with AI—it's about creating a symbiotic ecosystem where technology amplifies human potential. This requires a cultural shift toward continuous learning, adaptability, and mutual growth.   Leadership must model this approach, demonstrating openness to technological integration while maintaining a deeply human-centric perspective. Training programs should focus not just on technical skills but on developing adaptive capabilities that thrive amid constant change.     To successfully navigate employee retention in the AI era, organisations must: 1. Invest in predictive analytics for early intervention 2. Create personalised career development frameworks 3. Prioritise holistic mental health support 4. Implement flexible, technology-enabled work models 5. Develop continuous, meaningful recognition systems 6. Foster a culture of learning and adaptability   Conclusion: The Human at the Center   As we stand at the intersection of technological innovation and human potential, the organisations that will succeed are those who see AI not as a replacement for human talent, but as a powerful amplifier of human capabilities.   By approaching employee retention with empathy, strategic foresight, and technological sophistication, we can create workplaces that are not just productive, but profoundly human.       Well, there we are. How to navigating employee churn in the age of artificial intelligence. If this episode triggers any thoughts, please leave a comment on the podcast's page, or drop me a line: lee@mindblownpsychology.com. And if you found this podcast helpful, please leave a review on the podcast page. You can listen to this podcast on the Apple Podcast platform. I don't publish on Spotify for ethical reasons. Until next time, I wish you well in managing your businesses employee turnover, and have a great week.   Bye

    7 min

  5. JAN 31

    02 - Managing stress and anxiety

    Managing stress and anxiety: Your practical guide to staying balanced When life feels like it’s spinning out of control, having reliable strategies to manage stress and anxiety isn’t just helpful—it’s essential. This guide explores practical techniques that you can implement straight away, helping you regain your centre when everything feels overwhelming. Understanding your stress response Before diving into management techniques, it’s important to understand what happens in your body when stress kicks in. Your body’s stress response—often called the ‘fight or flight’ response—triggers a cascade of hormones including cortisol and adrenaline. While this response was brilliant for our ancestors avoiding predators, it’s less helpful when we’re stressed about work deadlines or financial pressures. Immediate relief strategies When stress hits hard, these techniques can help you regain control: Box breathing This technique is used by everyone from corporate executives to military personnel. Here’s how to do it: Inhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Exhale for 4 counts Hold for 4 counts Repeat for 3-5 cycles The 5-4-3-2-1 grounding technique When anxiety feels overwhelming, this sensory awareness exercise helps bring you back to the present: Name 5 things you can see Name 4 things you can touch Name 3 things you can hear Name 2 things you can smell Name 1 thing you can taste Progressive muscle relaxation This technique involves systematically tensing and releasing muscle groups. Start from your toes and work up to your head, tensing each muscle group for 5 seconds before releasing. This helps identify where you’re holding tension and releases it effectively. Mindfulness practices for daily life Mindfulness isn’t about emptying your mind—it’s about being present in the moment without judgment. Here are practical ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily routine: Mindful morning routine Instead of immediately checking your phone, take five minutes to: Focus on your breathing Notice the sensation of your feet on the floor Listen to the morning sounds around you Feel the temperature of the air on your skin Mindful eating During at least one meal daily: Notice the colours and textures of your food Pay attention to each bite’s flavour Eat slowly and without distractions Appreciate where your food came from Mindful walking Whether it’s to the letterbox or during your lunch break: Notice how your feet feel hitting the ground Observe your surroundings with curiosity Feel the air temperature and breeze Listen to the sounds around you Long-term stress management strategies While immediate relief techniques are valuable, developing long-term strategies is crucial for ongoing stress management: Create boundaries Learn to say ‘no’ without guilt Set specific work hours and stick to them Establish digital boundaries (e.g., no work emails after 7 pm) Communicate your limits clearly to others Develop healthy habits Prioritise sleep hygiene Maintain regular exercise Eat a balanced diet Stay hydrated Limit caffeine and alcohol Build a support network Connect with friends regularly Consider professional support when needed Join community groups or classes Share your experiences with trusted people When anxiety becomes overwhelming Sometimes, despite our best efforts, anxiety can still become overwhelming. Here’s what to do in those moments: Recognise your triggers Keep a journal noting: What happened before the anxiety peaked Physical symptoms you experienced Thoughts that accompanied the anxiety What helped you feel better Create an anxiety toolkit Have a physical or digital collection of: Calming music playlists Guided meditation recordings Photos that bring you joy List of people you can call Written reminders of techniques that work for you Professional terms explained Throughout this article, you may have encountered some professional terms. Here’s what they mean: Anxiety: More than just worry, anxiety is a persistent feeling of concern or dread that can affect daily functioning. Cortisol: Often called the ‘stress hormone’, it’s released during stressful situations and affects various body systems. Sleep hygiene: The habits and practices that help you get quality sleep consistently. Grounding techniques: Practices that help connect you to the present moment when anxiety makes you feel disconnected. Making it work for you Remember that stress management isn’t one-size-fits-all. What works brilliantly for someone else might not work for you, and that’s perfectly fine. The key is to experiment with different techniques and create a personalised toolkit that suits your lifestyle and preferences. Start small—perhaps with just one technique—and gradually build your stress management practice. Be patient with yourself as you learn these new skills, and remember that managing stress is a journey, not a destination. When to seek professional help While these techniques are valuable tools for managing everyday stress and anxiety, sometimes professional support is needed. Consider reaching out to a mental health professional if: Your anxiety interferes with daily activities You’re having trouble sleeping or eating You’re using alcohol or other substances to cope You’re experiencing persistent physical symptoms Your relationships or work are being affected Remember, seeking help isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of self-awareness and strength. Closing thoughts Managing stress and anxiety is an ongoing process that requires patience, practice, and self-compassion. By incorporating these techniques into your daily life, you’re taking important steps toward better mental health and overall wellbeing. Start small, be consistent, and remember that every step forward, no matter how small, is progress worth celebrating.

    9 min

  6. JAN 31

    01 - How to build and maintain a successful romantic relationship

    Welcome to the first episode of the mindblown psychology podcast. I'm Lee Hopkins, and today I want to talk about How to build and maintain a successful romantic relationship Building a successful romantic relationship isn’t just about finding the right person — it’s about being the right person and putting in consistent effort. Whether you’re just starting out or have been together for years, here’s a comprehensive guide to nurturing a healthy, lasting relationship. Establish strong communication foundations The cornerstone of any successful relationship is effective communication. This doesn’t just mean talking about your day — it means developing the ability to share your deepest thoughts, fears, and desires with your partner. Psychologists call this ‘emotional disclosure’, which means opening up about your feelings in a honest and vulnerable way. Learn to practise active listening, where you focus entirely on understanding your partner rather than simply waiting for your turn to speak. This means maintaining eye contact, acknowledging their words with small gestures or sounds, and repeating back what they’ve said to ensure you’ve understood correctly. Maintain individual identity A common mistake in relationships is becoming so entwined that you lose your sense of self. Psychologists refer to this as ‘enmeshment’ — when boundaries become so blurred that individual identity is compromised. Maintain your own hobbies, friendships, and interests. This not only keeps you fulfilled as an individual but also makes you more interesting to your partner. Navigate conflict constructively Conflict is inevitable in any relationship, but it’s how you handle it that matters. Research shows that successful couples maintain a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions — meaning for every negative encounter, they have five positive ones to balance it out. When disagreements arise: Stay focused on the current issue rather than bringing up past grievances Use ‘I’ statements instead of accusatory ‘you’ statements Take breaks if emotions become too intense Avoid absolute terms like ‘never’ and ‘always’ Focus on finding solutions rather than winning arguments Cultivate emotional intelligence Emotional intelligence (EQ) is crucial for relationship success. This involves: Recognising and managing your own emotions Understanding and responding to your partner’s emotional needs Showing empathy during difficult times Regulating your reactions during conflicts Practise regular appreciation It’s easy to take your partner for granted over time. Make a conscious effort to: Express gratitude for both big and small actions Acknowledge your partner’s efforts Share specific compliments Celebrate their achievements Maintain physical intimacy Physical intimacy isn’t just about sex — it includes all forms of physical connection. This might mean: Regular hugging and kissing Holding hands Cuddling while watching TV Giving each other massages Making eye contact during conversations Create shared goals and values While maintaining individuality is important, successful couples also need shared direction. This includes: Setting short and long-term goals together Discussing and aligning on core values Creating shared traditions and rituals Planning for the future together Respect boundaries and privacy Every healthy relationship needs boundaries. These might include: Personal space and alone time Privacy with phones and social media Relationships with friends and family Financial independence Personal beliefs and values Keep dating each other Long-term relationships require ongoing effort to maintain romance. This means: Planning regular date nights Trying new activities together Creating surprises for each other Maintaining physical appearance and hygiene Showing interest in each other’s lives Build trust through consistency Trust isn’t built through grand gestures but through small, consistent actions over time. This includes: Following through on promises Being reliable and punctual Maintaining confidentiality Being honest about small things as well as big ones Supporting each other during difficult times Seek professional help when needed There’s no shame in seeking relationship counselling or therapy. Many couples wait too long before getting help. Consider professional support if: Communication becomes consistently difficult Trust has been broken You’re experiencing the same conflicts repeatedly You’re going through major life transitions You want to strengthen an already good relationship Remember the little things Often, it’s the small daily actions that maintain a strong relationship: Sending thoughtful messages during the day Making their favourite meal Remembering important dates Asking about their day and truly listening Doing small favours without being asked Building a successful romantic relationship requires consistent effort, awareness, and dedication from both partners. It’s about creating a foundation of trust, maintaining open communication, and showing up for each other every day. Remember that all relationships have ups and downs — it’s how you navigate these together that determines your success. The most successful couples understand that love is both a feeling and a choice. They choose to prioritise their relationship daily, even when it’s challenging. By implementing these strategies consistently, you can build and maintain a relationship that not only survives but thrives through life’s various seasons.

    8 min
  • 6 Episodes

About

Discover a better you with my new psychology and counselling podcast Are you ready to unlock the secrets to a more fulfilling life? As a trained psychologist and counsellor, I’m thrilled to introduce my new weekly podcast—a space where we dive deep into the fascinating world of psychology, relationships, and personal growth. Life can be complex, and navigating its challenges often feels overwhelming. That’s why this podcast is here—to offer practical insights, evidence-based strategies, and meaningful conversations that empower you to live with greater clarity and purpose. Whether you’re seeking to improve your relationships, understand yourself on a deeper level, or gain tools to support your mental health, this podcast is your companion on the journey. Each episode explores topics that matter most—how to communicate effectively with loved ones, manage stress and anxiety, build resilience, and foster self-compassion. With warmth and professionalism, I’ll break down psychological concepts into relatable ideas that you can apply in your everyday life. You’ll also hear inspiring stories from real people who’ve transformed their lives through self-awareness and growth. This podcast isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about meaningful change. It’s about equipping you with the knowledge and tools to create stronger connections with yourself and others. Whether you’re tuning in during your morning walk or winding down at the end of the day, these episodes are designed to leave you feeling inspired, informed, and empowered. Join me each week as we explore what it means to live a better life—one filled with understanding, connection, and growth. Subscribe today wherever you get your podcasts, and take the first step towards becoming the best version of yourself.

Information

  • Creator
    Lee Hopkins
  • Years Active
    2024 - 2025
  • Episodes
    6
  • Rating
    Clean
  • Copyright
    © 2025
  • Show Website
    mindblown psychology

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