RESILIENT PEOPLE Janet Fanaki

This episode is a response to a Twitter post that I recently made that garnered a bit of attention.
I was remarking on how I was including a friend, who recently lost her husband, in my plans. Inviting her to play tennis, hang out and go out for dinner.
So many people replied with their own stories of living with grief and the alienation they encountered while others wrote about the ways in which they had included a griever in their vacations, dinners and making plans together.
The grievers had remarked on the typical "outreach" comments that they would hear as a way for others to feel as though they were helping. These are touched-on as well as examples of how they also felt acknowledged, loved and seen which allowed them to make steps to move forward from their loss.
This episode is with Janet Fanaki, a widow for over three years and the host of the RESILIENT PEOPLE podcast.

Shaun O'Gorman is an author, motivational speaker, father, and a former police officer in Queensland, Australia

Growing up in a police family, Shaun knew from a very young age what he aspired to be when he got older. But he wasn't aware of how much this profession would change him.

Witnessing horrific events and drama of day to day life, he struggled for a long time with PTSD, attempted suicide and eventually left the police force.

It took a lot of personal development to get to his best self. Leaving aggression and alcoholism in the past.

Now Shaun found a purpose in speaking to audiences, police academies, military, first responders, athletes and schools about his struggles and his goal is to help people to cope with life’s hardships and build resilience.

Back in 2019 I spoke with a woman by the name of Dawn Custode. She loved to sail, travel, spend time helping the causes that she held dear and having fun with loved ones.

When we spoke she was dying of colon cancer, a disease that she had lived with for two and a half years.

She was spending her remaining days imparting her wisdom on life for the living. And she had some terrific advice such as getting regularly screened for colon cancer, keep adding things to the calendar to look forward to, live with no regrets and be mindful of time because tomorrow is not guaranteed.

Dawn believed that much of her resilience came from moving often as a child. She felt that it made her an extrovert and someone who was able to land on her feet and move forward.

Perhaps this helped her through her cancer diagnosis too. The ability to look at this challenge and find positive ways to move forward from it.

It's a great conversation and I'm so grateful that she shared some time with me.

Our talk came at a time when my own husband was living with terminal brain cancer called glioblastoma.

Dawn and I both agreed that having conversations like this are helpful and connect us with likeminded people.

I hope that you enjoy it as much as I did.

A popular topic from the past, I've brought back some new and very fun ways to actually enjoy Valentine's Day as a single person.

It's a day that can be tricky and sometimes depressing, but it absolutely does not need to be.

I'm sharing insights as a widow for the past 3 years, as well as after collecting feedback from many single people who have found ways to be happy and fulfilled on February 14th.

This episode offers tips for spending the day on your own or with others, as well as ways to avoid it altogether.
I touch on self care and the importance of community, but also that joy can be found in doing something nice for others.

​It's the idea of finding a purpose that will help to get you through this day and turning the narrative into something positive.

In 2017, Max Gruver began as a freshman at Louisiana State University. He, along with his parents, was full of hope and excitement.

From Georgia, his parents heard about his first weeks away at school which included pledging at various fraternities.

They never anticipated that on September 17th they would receive a call that would change their lives forever. Max had died at LSU from a hazing event held at Phi Delta Theta house.

Since 1959, there has been at least one hazing-related death in Canada, the United States and Mexico. In the year that Max passed away, there were seven hazing-related deaths.

In her grief, Rae Ann Gruver new that something needed to change so that no one else would die they way that her son Max did.

Her family created The Max Gruver Foundation to abolish hazing on campuses, to educate young people on the risks associated with it and to change laws state by state.

Her efforts along with the volunteers who support this initiative are making a big difference.

I spoke with Rae Ann about:
- the day that they moved Max to LSU
- what happened in those first few weeks
- how is hazing defined
- the days following Max's death
- the purpose that she found to honour his memory and becoming a changer
- where her resilience comes from

Toronto psychiatrist and sleep expert Dr. Cara Ooi is my latest guest on the RESILIENT PEOPLE podcast.

Helping teens to sleep better is her main focus, but as our conversation will show, sleep disorders cover every age group.

As many of us struggle to get a good night's rest, Dr. Ooi offers simple and effective tools to help us. Without getting the necessary amount of sleep, it impacts everything from our productivity to our relationships.

But as she confirms, there are many options. Her approach includes changing the way we use our bed, addressing the light around us and sleep timing.

​Listen and learn how to get the sleep you've been dreaming of.