Creativity Excitement Emotion David Andrew Wiebe

Do you struggle with confrontation? How does it make you feel? Does it hold you back from expressing yourself?

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David shares about the challenges he’s experienced in confronting others.
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Highlights:
00:17 – Labels
01:17 – Sensitive-intuitive
02:16 – Avoiding confrontation
06:11 – You need to speak up
Transcript:
I'm not a very confrontational person and I have a feeling it's one of those things that has held me back in my life.
My friend Maveen Kaura always said, “Don't give yourself labels.” You might've heard a little bit of that kind of conversation on Using Your Power.
And I agree with him. I never labeled myself as something permanent. We’re not all fixed. We're all changing. The only reason a label would stick is if you’re telling the story over and over.
Even as I say that I think I'm kind of realizing the insanity a little bit in what I'm saying, which is helping. I'm trying to identify or distinguish something in the way that I've been so that I can be freer. And I think that's what today's conversation is about.
Why I’m sharing this with you, is because of what I understand about being a sensitive-intuitive… I'm not saying that description fits me to a T or exactly. All I'm saying is there was a period in my life where that was something that I needed to hear and it helped me heal in a very difficult situation where I was feeling very depressed and I don't use that word casually at all.
It was the summer of 2014, and my prayers were hitting the ceiling, and I didn't feel like living anymore. So, I was in that state and that's when I discovered “sensitive intuitive,” what that meant, and that made a difference for me. So that's where the identification originally comes from.
Like I said, it doesn't have to be set in stone and it doesn't even have to be permanent. It's just something that helped me through a period of my life.
But what I know about being sensitive-intuitive is we have trouble with confrontation. There is something physical that happens. When the need for confrontation arises, usually it's in our gut. We feel pain when there's something that needs to be said to another person.
Now, throughout my life and my personal development journey, I have gained a lot of ground in terms of self-expression. I'm more self-expressed than I've ever been.
But if there's a part of me or there's an aspect of myself that has held me back from being everything, I think I'm capable of being, and from being totally and completely free, it's probably this – confrontation.
Now, when you hear “confrontation” you might immediately think to yourself, “Okay, so like yelling and shouting matches and that types of scenarios.”
And yes, that can apply, but it can be something as insignificant as “There's something I need to tell someone,” but knowing that you have to go and tell them makes you feel nervous.
So, that's the physical reaction that I'm talking about. It’s not just some minor butterflies in your stomach. You feel pain. That's the kind of physical reaction that I'm talking about.
So, are there situations where I've stepped through pain, the butterflies, the fear to tell people things? Absolutely. That's a deviation from the norm. That's a deviation from how I've described myself. That’s why I say, “Labels are a moving target.”
So, at times, I have been able to be fully self-expressed in these scenarios, but there've been scenarios where I also wasn't able to express myself in the way that I needed to.
I have tended to get away from those scenarios as quickly as possible. And there are situations where maybe I wasn't fearing for my life, but a little bit. At least fearing for my possessions and my finances because of the people I met who are sociopa

We interrupt this regularly scheduled program to bring you an important update. There are several great announcements in this episode, and you won’t want to miss out!

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David shares essential updates concerning his business as well as the podcast.
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Highlights:
00:17 – Podcast update
01:17 – David’s grandfather passed away
02:18 – How DavidAndrewWiebe.com is transforming
03:54 – The launch of MusicHackers.org
06:23 – The launch of Better Ways to Survive
07:28 – The future of the Creativity Excitement Emotion podcast
08:29 – Closing thoughts
Transcript:
Welcome to Creativity Excitement Emotion.

I know this is one of the few times I’ve even given an intro like that, and there is a reason for it.

I began recording episodes for Creativity Excitement Emotion in July 2024, so aside from the interview with Jody in episode 9, as well as episode 30, in which I talked about why I deleted Music Entrepreneur HQ, you’ve been hearing episodes I recorded months ago

The last few episodes, specifically, were captured around October of last year.

But today’s episode is more current, meaning I’m capturing it at the end of March 2024, to give you a timely update.

And I know it’s April 1, but I’m letting you know at the outset that what’s covered in this episode is not an April Fool’s joke – we truly are moving forward with the things talked about here.

Either way, there is much to talk about today, so let’s go item by item.
The Passing of David’s Grandfather
Last weekend, I got the news that my grandfather had passed away.

So, I decided to honor him with a week of silence – you may have noticed that I didn’t post any new podcast episodes last week.

I know that may sound kind of convenient, but they say everyone mourns differently, and the main way it’s been showing up for me is exhaustion, so I’ve been resting a lot and taking things slow.

There has been no reason to overexert myself, and in fact, I’ve kind of been enjoying more of a relaxed pace lately. I’m discovering more and more that I don’t need dozens of projects in my life to sustain or fulfill me.

Anyway, I plan to honor my grandfather in the written word, and I’m going to write something for the man who never taught me anything but showed me several things, like how to fish, how to drive a lawn tractor, or how to drive a truck.

And yes, I will be sharing that piece publicly, so keep an eye open for it on DavidAndrewWiebe.com.
DavidAndrewWiebe.com’s New Look and New Focus
Speaking of DavidAndrewWiebe.com, I needed to make some decisions concerning how I wanted to continue to build my brand.

There were a couple of big considerations, with the first being that I hadn’t brought the styling of the website fully up to date. I got some great photos done in February, and I hadn’t gotten around to using them across the entire website yet.

So, it was time to get on top of that.

We also chose the specific fonts and colors I’m to be using on the website.

If you go to the website now, while it’s still somewhat of a work in progress, you’ll find that we’ve largely implemented the new style.

The second consideration was deciding on a specific direction for my site.

It was far too general to appeal to anyone, and that put me in a position of having to work for attention and business instead of attracting and earning it.

So, I now have a very simple sentence explaining exactly the purpose the site serves:

Here I document my journey of music, starting businesses, and personal growth.

It took some time to land on that one, but that’s almost exactly what the site already is, so I’m very happy we were able to condense it into that.

Additionally, I’ve warned in the past,

Thanks to the proliferation of social media and smartphones, attention- and approval-seeking behaviors are at an all-time high.

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David explains the pros and cons of being an approval seeker.
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Highlights:
00:17 – Can you do life without constantly having to be validated?
00:55 – Getting the results you’re looking for
01:58 – Getting results for yourself first
02:12 – It’s not just about being independent
03:08 – What lengths are you willing to go to?
04:03 – Short-sightedness is a problem
04:36 – Approval seeking is beneficial to those who are willing and able to do it
05:04 – Not everyone is going to like you
06:19 – The upsides and downsides of being an approval seeker
07:27 – Know thyself
Transcript:
I don't think I'm much of an approval seeker. There's something that came up in my reflections and I think that's the ideal… if you can be independent… and don't get me wrong, it's always nice to get compliments. It's always nice to get praise. And I think we're all deserving of it to greater or lesser degrees, and we all need it as well.

But if you can be as independent as possible and not have to run on compliments or praise as fuel to do life, I think that's the ideal. You’ve got to take care of yourself first before you worry about taking care of anybody else.

If you're doing things in life, it doesn't matter what area, relationships, business, music, or anything else that you might be taking on. If you're not getting the results that you're looking for, it means that some aspect of what you're doing is not working, right?

I can tangibly see, since February [2023], when I started working out again, that I am getting results. I am looking trimmer, fitter, more in shape, gaining muscle, and losing fat. So, there's proof right there that it's working. If someone wanted to get the results that I'm getting right now, there would be good reason to listen to me.

If I wasn't getting those types of results, and I was merely advising people from my armchair, that's a whole other situation.

So, we want to be mindful of where results are showing up before we worry about trying to advise others on the direction that they should go in. First look at whether our method is working at all, in any capacity.

I'm not talking merely about being independent, though. I think culturally speaking, North America has a lot to learn from a country like Japan.

People often come back to me and say, “Everything has its pros and cons,” and yeah, that is true. Japan has some odd bits of culture that can be a little bit hard to understand or process. You could get thrown in jail for rather bizarre reasons, but I think every country has that. If you start looking into the law, like, there's almost no country that doesn't have some bizarre rules that could get you into trouble.

So, I think there's something to be learned about community culture. It's something that Japan does so well, and I'm sure it happens in other countries, too. I just haven't seen it.

So, I’m not just talking about being independent, although that is important. I think with approval seeking, it's almost your tolerance for what lengths are you willing to go to, to get people's attention. It's exactly what we're seeing with influencer culture. It's exactly what we're seeing with creator culture.

People are running around in tiny little bikinis, or if you're an OnlyFans model, then naked. There's ASMR, there's video games, there's all this stuff…

Look, some people genuinely love what they do and are good at it. I'm not going to take that away from them. But you will also find some people do this just because they think it will get them a lifestyle. In some cases, it does.

You can get advertising money.

What are you putting up with? Health challenges? Financial problems? Relationship issues?

The fact that you’re putting up with anything goes to show how resilient you truly are. But are you wasting your precious resiliency on people and things that don’t matter?

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David why it’s important to be willing to change.
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Highlights:
00:17 – People are better at coping and dealing with things than they realize
01:30 – You are more resilient than you realize
01:52 – You can’t change anything you’re willing to put up with
02:34 – What are you putting up with?
03:09 – Make a new commitment
03:45 – What have you been tolerating?
Transcript:
The human ability to cope and put up with things is a marvel. It's incredible. I think almost everyone is better at coping and putting up with things than they even realize.

Like, “We have a noisy upstairs neighbor and they're always partying on Thursday and Friday. But now that we know, we can plan around that and it's no big deal.”

No big deal. Really? And it could even be an injury. It's like, “Yeah, I damaged my foot about a month ago and just letting it heal on its own, not going to see the doctor.”

Just think of all the situations, right? “Yeah, I gained 500 pounds and it’s fine. I'm just going to continue eating and enjoying myself and no big deal.”

And that's not a judgment on anyone. I think we all do this to greater or lesser degrees.

“My financial situation is out of control, and I've been going into debt for 24 months. I haven't been able to pay my credit card bills except for minimum payments.” People just don't understand how bad of a situation that is, because they haven't investigated it.

“I put up with it, it's a fact of life, no big deal.”

So, understand that your ability to cope with change and put up with things is far greater than you realize. You may fear change, and many people do, but at the same time, you are so strong, and you are so good at putting up with it. What is most likely to happen is the event will happen and you'll figure out a way to put up with it or work around it.

Your ability to cope with change and put up with things is far greater than you realize.Click To Tweet

Here's the point. We can't change anything that we're willing to put up with. If it's like, “Yeah, it's okay. No big deal. I'll figure it out.” If it's like that, then we can't go and make a difference in that area in any significant way.

And usually, that's where we want the biggest breakthrough. And we're sitting there going, “Yeah, credit card bills, no big deal.” And they've got like three credit cards, each maxed to the hilt. And they're barely making minimum payments. You're in a much, much worse situation than you even realize right now.

And there are some actions to take. There are some things to do.

So, where are you putting up with things? If you're putting up with them, it means that you're not willing to do anything about them.

You must change that to something else. You must change the context. You’ve got to say, “I'm not willing to put up with this anymore. I'm going to get into action. I'm going to do something about this. I'm going to start working out tomorrow,” or “I'm going to start looking at my finances every single day and start cutting expenses that I no longer need.”

Or, “I'm going to start seeing a doctor or a naturopath or someone who can help me with my health.”

These areas where we're putting up with things are an invitation to make a new commitment, make a new decision, try something else, try something out of the ordinary.

People get easily stuck in their ways, not recognizing that they have. a near-limitless set of options in front of them. Maybe it's not infin

Sometimes there is no logic to the way people treat you. You could pay less for better service. You could pay more for lesser service. And what you end up with isn’t always predictable going in.

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David elaborates on the rental drama that recently unfolded in his life.
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Highlights:
00:17 – Being treated worse for more money
01:34 – Blood, sweat, and tears
02:17 – All feelings, no logic
03:10 – Paying back kindness with cruelty
Transcript:
Something that occurred to me about my ridiculous rental situation... I realized that I was staying in Abbotsford for about two years, paying, I think it was $800 or $900 a month. It certainly wasn't a whole lot more than that.

And I was treated way better there than paying $1,350 at a friend's house in Vancouver. Like, how does this even add up? Simple math says I should be treated just as well, if not better. And yet, on some level, I think there's miscommunication, or communication that needs to happen that's not happening.

“We need you to be out of here in two weeks.” Now, we have no formal written agreement. So, it's not a situation where I can go back to them and be like, “Yeah, two weeks is not enough.” I've pleaded my case already. I've already made my case.

I said, “Even if I happen to find a place tomorrow and send in my application, and I'm approved, it's very unlikely that I'll be able to move in after two weeks,” and I was met with a dead stare.

So, that kind of tells me everything. They're clueless. They have no idea what's going on. Maybe they think I'm lucky, for being able to move from place to place.

Yeah, lucky, sure. You try working your ass off for 10 years or longer to get to this point and build something from nothing. Something that you must put your blood, sweat, tears, and effort into every single day to build.

All I can say is “Good luck with that.” Because most people don't do it. Honestly, all I can think is they just want to be more buddy-buddy with me or something. They're expecting way more communication than I'm giving.

Even though they could just as easily, come down, knock on my door, and say “Hi.” See what's going on and ask about my life, which they don't do.

So, at the end of the day, it just seems to me it's all about feelings. It has nothing to do with logic.

Like, if someone was paying me $1,350 per month, and they were living in my basement, and they were quiet and clean, Sure, maybe I'd worry a little bit and check up on them every once in a while and see if they're okay. But aside from that, I would let them be. I would let them live their life.

I wouldn't worry too much about their habits as long as they're not completely out to lunch. And it's like, “Man, we all miss a meal now and again. We all miss a shower now and again.”

But just because I'm not always eating at home or not always showering at home, it doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not doing those things.

I want to ask, like, “Do I look dirty and unhealthy?” Because I don't. Not even a little bit.

So, this is what you get for being respectful of others. They pay back your kindness with, “Yeah, you can't be here. We don't like you.”

Like I said, I think something is missing in communication. I'm not getting something they're saying, and they're not getting something I'm saying. They're just basing everything off things I've done or not done, not based on any communication or conversation that's been had.

All I can say is “Good luck with that,” because I know we're human, but if you make all your decisions based on, “I don’t want to talk to them.” Sometimes, you’ve got to take the initiative and have those conversations, especially if something’s missing for you.

For someone who's supposed to

Life is unfortunately full of unequal exchanges. You give more than you get. Or you get more than you give. Over the long haul, these types of exchanges always tend to balance out. But the process the universe uses to balance things can occur as chaotic.

In this episode of Creativity Excitement Emotion, David shares his experience with unequal exchanges.
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Highlights:
00:17 – Treat others as you would like to be treated
01:36 – Enduring hell
02:46 – You can control what you say, not what others feel
Transcript:
The golden rule is “Treat others as you would like to be treated.” So, for as long as I can remember, I've always treated others with kindness and respect and understanding and given them plenty of space. Even if they get angry, even if they're weird people, they'd usually get a second and maybe even a third or fourth chance with me.

As things went on and I got taken advantage of and didn't want to be a doormat anymore, I decided that I couldn’t be that kind or that giving. I couldn’t be that respectful of everyone.

Because the reality is a lot of people just don't deserve it. But those seeds were planted.

And I'm still a kind person. I try to treat people with respect and treat them the way that I would like to be treated as much as possible. So, I'm not just thinking about me and my convenience.

If it's about me and my safety, that's a whole other fucking matter. I will get out of a situation as quickly as I possibly can if it's about my safety, and I've had to do that.

But if it's not a matter of safety, I'm the gentlest giant you're going to find. And I'm not that big. 6'1”, 6'2” is tall, but I'm not huge. I'm not Michael Jordan. I'm not an NBA star.

And so, when I think about the way that I've been treated – and I'm not referring to my friends – but when I think about the way I've been treated in the last year plus… In a situation where I can't find a fucking home or I'm having to go from place to place, at times paying for exorbitant Airbnb fees, trying to figure out what the fuck I'm going to do next, working my ass off every single week to make sure that an income comes in so I can sustain some kind of lifestyle.

Have I been treated all that well? I mean, it's human to look at the situation and evidence for all the reasons why people didn't treat you with respect. I could do that, and I'm sure I could find a bunch. But the reality is I haven't been treated badly by everyone.

But some of the most disappointing ones are the ones that should know better, in my opinion. But they do say that when crimes occur, it’s usually someone you know. It's more likely to be someone you know stealing from you, taking from you, or doing things to your property than someone you don't know.

And it's just like, “I may have made you feel a certain way, but you have to take responsibility for how you feel.” It doesn't work the other way. You can't put that on me. I can control what I say, but I can't control how you interpret it and how you feel about it as much as I might want to.

So, if something is going on, man, come to me first, and let's have a conversation. Seriously. Don't just go assuming things. Don't just go and make plans of your own. I'm a safe guy. I'm not going to do anything to you.

But if it's something concerning my living situation or my lifestyle, come and talk to me first. Jesus Christ.