112: Just Knowing Him Was A Gift with Dr. Sarah Neustadter Thank You Heartbreak with Chelsea Leigh Trescott

Clinical and transpersonal psychologist, Dr. Sarah Neustader is the author of the newly released memoir, Love You Like the Sky: Surviving the Suicide of a Beloved. Joining Chelsea 13 minutes in, Sarah talks about navigating grief when you didn’t ask for it, let alone choose suicide yourself, and how she kept the conversation going with her boyfriend when he was now only in the spiritual realm. Ten years later, and no longer at the mercy of her boyfriend’s death, Sarah reflects on the many ways his suicide impacted not only her life but her will to live and credits his death and the blinding, debilitating trauma that is experienced by those left behind for helping her transcend her own suicidal ideations experienced both in her youth and in the wake of his passing. Gems to look out for:+ the hard existential dilemma of wanting to die but knowing you can’t—won’t—do it+ the spiritual side of suicide + dealing with the reality of a person’s suicide when you didn’t see it coming+ the world only gives us what we alone can handle+ how another person’s death can set your life onto a whole new trajectory + as a widower, the frustration of being launched, against one’s will, onto an unconventional path+ death is not the end; it is a doorway into something else+ the dangerous overprescription of pharmaceuticals + processing your regrets post-heartbreak+ people who are resolute about taking their own lives are those who don’t talk about it+ trusting life and another person after losing a loved one to suicide + opening yourself to the next big love+ how is the attachment harder to overcome if someone dies versus a breakup+ the tireless loop of “you’re not good enough, I’m not good enough, and what’s wrong with me”+ where a woman’s critical voice comes from+ how a man can best respond to a woman projecting her own unmet expectations onto him+ the not good enough wound that gets projected onto men by women+ grieving is a form of loving+ the shock of one day there’s a body and the next day there’s no body+ not being able to answer the question of “where are you?” breaks down any sense of security and attachment to the known world+ coping with death by leaning into extrasensory abilities+ sharing memories of a person who has passed is a way of collecting treasures + attachment styles and how to work on your attachment when you’re not in a romantic relationship + learning about your energy through Human Design and BodyGraphing (Sarah’s a projector; I’m a Manifesting Generator; find out what you are at www.jennazoe.com) __To connect with Dr. Sarah Neustadter, visit her:Website: https://sarahneustadter.comPurchase Love You Like the Sky: https://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Like-Sky-Surviving/dp/1943006881/Podcast: http://assholesofla.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/sarahneustadterphdFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/Sarah-Neustadter-PhD-976946002497116/Twitter: https://twitter.com/neustadtersarah?lang=en__Work with Chelsea: www.breakupward.com/shopChelsea’s website: www.breakupward.comSign up for Chelsea’s newsletter: bit.ly/tyhbletterInstagram: www.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakConnect and send in your questions and/or letters viawww.instagram.com/thankyouheartbreakOr by email: Chelsea@breakupward.com