UN { Civil Scientific ‪}‬ Uncivil Unscientific

Ulys & Nebu continue with the the same story from the previous episode: bottles in Canadian rectums. Nebu reads an 'engrossing' paper from Canada. A patient shows up with a hot ink bottle in his anus: an 'ingenious' idea to warm his prostate. The author, who is a Canadian doctor, heroically gets it out without incident, allegedly. Your favorite hosts do not forget to highlight the unofficial sponsor of the episode, Big Grease Vaseline, whose product may even helped smooth the bowel movements of the patient in this paper.

Nebu and Ulys are back, discussing Big Grease Vaseline. The supposed inventor of Vaseline stole it from poor workers in Pennsylvania; and more importantly, Native Americans have used some variations of the magical petroleum jelly before that. Anyway, why did Canadians insert random bottles in their rectums... we investigate.

Nebu & Ulys discuss Ulys's cult #TopoLife by Topo Chico. Before the Cavity Giant Coca Cola bought Topo Chico, they got in hot water for having too many radioactive beta particles in their 'mineral' water. Was Ulys having a hard time reading plain words because of #BetaHigh? Nebu wants to join the cult, proclaiming 'I just like the drink,' insisting on taking Topo Chico to the moon with diamond hands, but only if they disavow the Cavity Giant (which may bring them a bigger class action lawsuit for those extra beta particles anyway).

Your two favorite *** scientists, Ulys & Nebu, are here to make science cooler, but why is arXiv dot org making sceince uncooler by not bringing its best? Meta-abstract abstracts need to go! Automatic grading need to go too! #NSF.

Ulys & Nebu are already discussing a rebrand... Also, what's the matter with npj?!